I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
