I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
