if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
