Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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