You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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