and you said cock pushups were impossible
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
