bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
