i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Drunk is a universal language darling
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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