you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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