They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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