the condom got lost in my hair
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
