Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
