Will you blow on my dice?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
