i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
