why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
