That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize