I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
