Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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