She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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