I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
