Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
