You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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