check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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