Say something about gay babies.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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