my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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