Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
