the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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