we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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