Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
