Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
