She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I cut my penus on the lid.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
