the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do herpes really smell.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i've created a new STD.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
