So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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