he wants to bone in the snuggie
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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