just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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