Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
