Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
