He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
