New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Found the puke drawer
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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