The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just forgot I was standing up.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
