That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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