Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
