But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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