I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i believe in u and ur pee
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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