I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
