is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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