how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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