my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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