So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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