Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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